7 Days of Lonely

I pretty much love this song, The Seven Days of Lonely by I Nine.

I wonder, though, if I would love it so much if I didn't spend my first 3 weeks in New York crying.

My boyfriend and I had a conversation last week about whether or not we wanted to stay together while I am in New York and he is in DC. I've had my doubts about this relationship for a while, but this conversation really pushed me over the edge. I said I would only be able to do long distance if I knew there would be a definite end, i.e., when he graduates next May he would move to where I am. He said, he hopes that would happen, but he will always put school first, and if he gets into a better grad school somewhere outside of New York, he would go there.

I understand that, but frankly, it makes me doubt how serious he is about this relationship. I agreed to stay together for now, but honestly, I think I just agreed because I didn't want to lose him at this critical point in my life where I am so fragile that I need him to keep me from falling apart.

And now, back to the song. "I wish that you could hold me/through the seven days of lonely". It's a bit longer than seven days. I'd say about 3 weeks, judging from how long it took me to stop crying myself to sleep every night. I realize that I did not actually go through such a break up as described in the song, but I also realize that my "breakup" with DC is a lot less painful than a break up with a boyfriend, and so, it will actually be much longer than three weeks.