I Googled my name today. Among the people sharing my name were a registered nurse, a college volleyball player, a professor, and a woman with my first name who married a man with my last name and had six bridesmaids.
Sometimes I think that google is not just a search engine, it's a portal into alternate universes. What if I had pursued volleyball after my tenure as middle school captain of the varsity volleyball team? I may just be playing college ball now, with a full scholarship and everything. What if I hadn't been disuaded from the sciences when my 9th grade biology teacher made us watch Finding Nemo four different times throughout the year? I may have become a nurse, or even a doctor...
As I sit here sorting through the law school acceptance letters that have arrived, and wait eagerly by my e-mail inbox to hear from the others, I often ponder if the carreer I chose in 10th grade is the correct one. My roomate said the average American changes carreers 7 times in their lifetimes. Great, but I would like my starting carreer to NOT put me hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt just in time for me to realize that what I ACTUALLY want to do is something I could have gone in to straight out of college.
This is where the Google portal stops being useful. When I click on the names, I read about someone who is not me. I'd like a button that I can click next to any one of these alternate selves that says, 'how to get here'. It would tell me, in great detail, what to do to become that person, starting from where I am right now.
So, any of you computer nerds-up to the challenge??
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
On Relationships
I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over 9 months now. We are just starting to exit the honeymoon stage and are (trying to be) settling into the committed relationship stage. It's not easy. I routinely look back to how we were when we first started dating and think, how come we're not as cuddly or as giddy around each other as we used to be? Does he not like me as much as he used to? Why do we stay in waaay more than go out? Why does he not make an effort to impress me as much as he used to? Why do I no longer make an effort?
On the other hand, my roomate has been dating her boyfriend for about two years, on and off. They are very giddy around each other, very nauseatingly try to "sneak" carresses to each other, and talk about each other constantly. The on and off, I've started to realize, is important. My theory is that they never ACTUALLY move past the honeymoon phase, but, by virtue of the fact that they have actually been together for so long, effectively have entered the committed relationship phase as well.
They went out for about 6 months, started fighting, broke up, and several weeks later got back together. They have done this about four times. It seems that when the newness of the realtionship starts to wear off, they just break up and start over.
The rational part of me says my way is healthier, that we address problems, that we learn to work with each other instead of against each other. But the low-self esteem part of me that's constantly comparing myself to others says that they've caught hold of something important. They have, albeit by extreme means, learned to continuously ignite the spark that started their relationship. I hope that my boyfriend and I can learn to do this too, before it goes out all together.
On the other hand, my roomate has been dating her boyfriend for about two years, on and off. They are very giddy around each other, very nauseatingly try to "sneak" carresses to each other, and talk about each other constantly. The on and off, I've started to realize, is important. My theory is that they never ACTUALLY move past the honeymoon phase, but, by virtue of the fact that they have actually been together for so long, effectively have entered the committed relationship phase as well.
They went out for about 6 months, started fighting, broke up, and several weeks later got back together. They have done this about four times. It seems that when the newness of the realtionship starts to wear off, they just break up and start over.
The rational part of me says my way is healthier, that we address problems, that we learn to work with each other instead of against each other. But the low-self esteem part of me that's constantly comparing myself to others says that they've caught hold of something important. They have, albeit by extreme means, learned to continuously ignite the spark that started their relationship. I hope that my boyfriend and I can learn to do this too, before it goes out all together.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Blogging Makes the World a Better Place
Just minutes after I posted my disgruntled post earlier today, things started turning around.
I found out that I didn't actually leave my wallet at home, rather, had thrown it not in my purse but in my backpack, which I had with me as well. And there was still time before the test to down my tall iced vanilla latte with skim milk. The one down side to this event was that the coffee bar had run out of caramel syrup, so I wasn't able to get my caramel macciato, but hey, caffeine and sugar is caffeine and sugar in any form.
I met with my Boss, who was very sympathetic to my plight and said the only reason she mentioned my absence was because she wanted to make sure I wasn't sick or otherwise incapacitated. I am sick, but that's not the point. She cares about me, and thinks I'm a fine employee.
I sat down to write my reasons for wanting to attend law school. Turns out, I have some pretty legit reasons. And also, apparently, I'm pretty darn good candidate if I do say so myself. My resume is overflowing with things I've done to be proactive in my community, and that's OBVIOUSLY something that will follow me in my law career.
I'm still unholy and dirty, but after a whole day of meetings and classes and talking with professors, I sort of seem to forget about it.
Also, and most importantly, I know I have yummy leftover carrot soup waiting for me at home.
I found out that I didn't actually leave my wallet at home, rather, had thrown it not in my purse but in my backpack, which I had with me as well. And there was still time before the test to down my tall iced vanilla latte with skim milk. The one down side to this event was that the coffee bar had run out of caramel syrup, so I wasn't able to get my caramel macciato, but hey, caffeine and sugar is caffeine and sugar in any form.
I met with my Boss, who was very sympathetic to my plight and said the only reason she mentioned my absence was because she wanted to make sure I wasn't sick or otherwise incapacitated. I am sick, but that's not the point. She cares about me, and thinks I'm a fine employee.
I sat down to write my reasons for wanting to attend law school. Turns out, I have some pretty legit reasons. And also, apparently, I'm pretty darn good candidate if I do say so myself. My resume is overflowing with things I've done to be proactive in my community, and that's OBVIOUSLY something that will follow me in my law career.
I'm still unholy and dirty, but after a whole day of meetings and classes and talking with professors, I sort of seem to forget about it.
Also, and most importantly, I know I have yummy leftover carrot soup waiting for me at home.
The Worst Day Ever
Well, maybe not ever. But here's a list of what happened in the last five hours:
-I planned to wake up at 7:30 to daven, shower, and study. I woke up at 9:30, and only had time to study. Now I feel unholy and dirty.
-I'm sick, but I just took off school for Yom Kippur and will be taking off more time to go home for Succot, so I really can't justify missing any more class.
-I'm in an eternal state of "Do I really want to go to law school or not, and if not, what DO I want to do?" I sometimes picture myself as a forensic analyst, but then tell myself there is a reason I've been avoiding any type of science-type classes. Then I get mad at myself for not taking a more well rounded course load.
-I've been spending too much time with the boyfriend. I think my roomates are annoyed. It's not their right to be annoyed (because we spend time at his house, not mine) but I don't want to get on their bad side.
-The meeting I was supposed to go to at 12 was apparently at 10. I never got the email, the boss asked me if I forgot and is meeting personally with me later.
-I have to give my advisor reasons why I want to go to law school so she can write a reccomendation letter for me. I can't really think of any other than, "I'll make a lot of money" and "I want my parents to be proud of me".
-I went to the coffee shop to get my standard feel better drink, a tall iced skinny caramel macciato, and realized that even though i had shlepped my whole purse with me, and even had to go back to one of my classes because I left it there, my credit card is still at home.
-I planned to wake up at 7:30 to daven, shower, and study. I woke up at 9:30, and only had time to study. Now I feel unholy and dirty.
-I'm sick, but I just took off school for Yom Kippur and will be taking off more time to go home for Succot, so I really can't justify missing any more class.
-I'm in an eternal state of "Do I really want to go to law school or not, and if not, what DO I want to do?" I sometimes picture myself as a forensic analyst, but then tell myself there is a reason I've been avoiding any type of science-type classes. Then I get mad at myself for not taking a more well rounded course load.
-I've been spending too much time with the boyfriend. I think my roomates are annoyed. It's not their right to be annoyed (because we spend time at his house, not mine) but I don't want to get on their bad side.
-The meeting I was supposed to go to at 12 was apparently at 10. I never got the email, the boss asked me if I forgot and is meeting personally with me later.
-I have to give my advisor reasons why I want to go to law school so she can write a reccomendation letter for me. I can't really think of any other than, "I'll make a lot of money" and "I want my parents to be proud of me".
-I went to the coffee shop to get my standard feel better drink, a tall iced skinny caramel macciato, and realized that even though i had shlepped my whole purse with me, and even had to go back to one of my classes because I left it there, my credit card is still at home.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
But I'm Nowhere Near There
My brother and sister play this game, anytime one of them sees an unusually awesome looking car on the road, they will send a text message to the other with the name of the car and the place where they saw it. For example "BMW M1, I-95 exit 103" and the other will text back "Awesome, but I'm nowhere near there."
I have been excluded from this game due to my apparent lack of knowledge of hot new cars. I had to google "cool car" to find an example for my text above.
Recently, though, I saw a documentary on the History Channel-my guilty pleasure- about 1980s technology, and one of the items featured was this car:
It's a 1982 DeLorean. Technically, a DeLorean DMC12, but because this is the only model the company made, people don't say the DMC-12 part. Also, it's the time machine from Back to The Future. Also, its a "cool car" with nostalgia and character. And I love nostalgia. And character.
I have been excluded from this game due to my apparent lack of knowledge of hot new cars. I had to google "cool car" to find an example for my text above.
Recently, though, I saw a documentary on the History Channel-my guilty pleasure- about 1980s technology, and one of the items featured was this car:
It's a 1982 DeLorean. Technically, a DeLorean DMC12, but because this is the only model the company made, people don't say the DMC-12 part. Also, it's the time machine from Back to The Future. Also, its a "cool car" with nostalgia and character. And I love nostalgia. And character.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Best. Bat-Mitzvah. Ever.
-Partnership Minyanim are GREAT. Especially when done at the request of the Bat Mitzvah.
-Catering is over-rated.
-For that matter, so is ordering benchers. Making your own to include your own personal preferances is SO much better.
-It's great to be one of the few non-family members at family meals and still feel included.
-Shavuot is the perfect holiday for a Bat Mitzvah
Only one negative comment, and it has nothing to do with the Bat Mitzvah: Shiurim, even ones in the middle of the night, should never turn into self-help therapy sessions. If you want to talk to a rabbi about your personal issues, do so on your own time.
-Catering is over-rated.
-For that matter, so is ordering benchers. Making your own to include your own personal preferances is SO much better.
-It's great to be one of the few non-family members at family meals and still feel included.
-Shavuot is the perfect holiday for a Bat Mitzvah
Only one negative comment, and it has nothing to do with the Bat Mitzvah: Shiurim, even ones in the middle of the night, should never turn into self-help therapy sessions. If you want to talk to a rabbi about your personal issues, do so on your own time.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
On Being A Woman
In light of recent political events, a story:
2 years ago, I took a class in which I was one of three females, and the ONLY female that attended class regularly. The class was called "Film: Form and Culture". When analyzing a particular film, the professor asked me "Beverly, as a woman, what would you say is the female perspective of this film?" I answered him by saying "Well, neither I nor you can speak for half the human population, but if you are looking for my opinion as to how women were represented in the film, I'd say..."
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Guilty Pleasures
Today, my english professor asked us to draw a picture of our bookshelves, and list what books were on them. Then she asked us to list the books that are not on our bookshelves, but would be on our ideal bookshelves. I made my lists, and while in general I am very pleased with my bookshelf, I deliberately left off some things that I didn't want to share with the class, for example, the first book of the Twilight series.
I didn't plan on reading Twilight. My reasoning was that if my fifth-grade students are reading it, the book couldn't be THAT stimulating, and it certainly won't be up to my intelligence level. I "broke" one Shabbos, while visiting a friend. I got bored of the textbook I had brought with me, and there was Twilight, sitting on her coffee table, asking to be read. It's pretty poorly written, but it's kinda like a Pringle-once you pop, you just can't stop. I have to find out what happens to poor Bella and Edward.
Tonight, I was folding laundry while watching TV on my computer. My roomate came in to ask me a question, and I quickly turned off the show. Partly, it was so I could hear what she was saying, but partly, it was because I did not want her to know I was watching "The Secret Life of The American Teenager". The show is TERRIBLE. The actors don't really act, the plot is completely ridiculous and it glorifies teen pregnancy. Still, it's a guilty pleasure. I have to watch because I want to know what happens-does the 15-year-old pregnant girl keep her baby or give it up for adoption? Does the father do as much as he says he will? What's going to happen with this new boyfriend? Suffice it to say that I don't watch much TV, because anytime I do, I get highly addicted.
Really, I shouldn't be embarrassed at my forms of relaxation. If I solely read books such as Twilight, or watched shows like "Secret Life", then I might have to start moving up to the next floor in the library. However, I'm comfortable with the amount of time I spend with these forms of entertainment. There's nothing wrong with going brainless for an hour or two. Still, I close the computer and edit my bookshelf, because at the end of the day, I'd prefer to be a closet light-brain than a known light-brain.
I didn't plan on reading Twilight. My reasoning was that if my fifth-grade students are reading it, the book couldn't be THAT stimulating, and it certainly won't be up to my intelligence level. I "broke" one Shabbos, while visiting a friend. I got bored of the textbook I had brought with me, and there was Twilight, sitting on her coffee table, asking to be read. It's pretty poorly written, but it's kinda like a Pringle-once you pop, you just can't stop. I have to find out what happens to poor Bella and Edward.
Tonight, I was folding laundry while watching TV on my computer. My roomate came in to ask me a question, and I quickly turned off the show. Partly, it was so I could hear what she was saying, but partly, it was because I did not want her to know I was watching "The Secret Life of The American Teenager". The show is TERRIBLE. The actors don't really act, the plot is completely ridiculous and it glorifies teen pregnancy. Still, it's a guilty pleasure. I have to watch because I want to know what happens-does the 15-year-old pregnant girl keep her baby or give it up for adoption? Does the father do as much as he says he will? What's going to happen with this new boyfriend? Suffice it to say that I don't watch much TV, because anytime I do, I get highly addicted.
Really, I shouldn't be embarrassed at my forms of relaxation. If I solely read books such as Twilight, or watched shows like "Secret Life", then I might have to start moving up to the next floor in the library. However, I'm comfortable with the amount of time I spend with these forms of entertainment. There's nothing wrong with going brainless for an hour or two. Still, I close the computer and edit my bookshelf, because at the end of the day, I'd prefer to be a closet light-brain than a known light-brain.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
How To Get That Song Out Of Your Head
THIS site, songtapper.com, is awesome! If you've got a beat in your head, but you don't know the words to the song, you can use your spacebar to play it out, and the site will find songs that have that same beat.
It works much better than the time I googled "song that sounds like dum dum dum dum da dum dum".
It works much better than the time I googled "song that sounds like dum dum dum dum da dum dum".
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